I'm pretty sure that the law of gravity is just trying to f*** with me today

I bribed a tech at NASA to re-program the golden record on Voyager 1 to play nothing but "Weird Al" Yankovic

Today would have been Elvis's 80th birthday so lets stick a candle in a fried peanut butter & banana sandwich and blow one out for the king. Thankyouverimuch.

If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator. This is a recording.

cold day

9 degrees: Tough day to be a policeman, delivery driver, mail carrier, or anything outside. Stay warm folks. Say a Prayer for the homeless and bring your outdoor pets inside. However, if your thing is driving over frozen lawns, ice fishing, or testing out your new thermal long underwear, knock yourself out.

Do the stoners who live in Anchorage refer to a pot brownie as baked Alaska?

A foul twist on Neil Simon

On November 13, Felix (Donald Duck) Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife(Daisy). Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar (Daffy Duck) Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife (female Bugs Bunny)had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can two divorced ducks share an apartment without driving each other crazy? Coming this spring to Broadway, through the magic of hologram technology: Daffy Duck & Donald Duck together on stage in Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".