Star Wars will not be able to live up to so much hype.Worried I'll be as dissapointed as I when I found out Santa was fake in 2013

I played old Bill Cosby cd to it to see if it still felt funny. It gave me the feeling of accidentally drinking spoiled milk.

On this date in 1863 Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address, which I used to assume was some kind of a PO Box number.

Dear QT Pizza: Thanks a lot for the heartburn/acid reflux that kept me up all night. Oh who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at you.

One of the few bright spots about having an elderly parent w dementia is that I never have to come up with new jokes or anecdotes.

not of this McWorld

I've been doing the research and can find no animal that matches the meat from the McRib. Pretty sure the golden arch's lab is playing God and creating animals for meat. Takes a year to grow em.. that's why they only appear sporadically.

contractors again using industrial glue for carpet install.Still waiting on their response to my request that they switch to lemon scented model glue.

the stripping chemicals/industrial glue smell for the new carpeting in my office reminds me of childhood memories Tom Twister (the puke ride at Six Flags)

how much??

Just spent $570.00 on a car repair. OK, as long as I don't need food, shelter, entertainment, medication, or gift purchases for the next few months, my budget will absorb this w/out a problem.

This morning showed the results of last night's heavy winds: tree branches, trash, leaves, & smart cars were blown all over the place.

Oops there it is

My company is redecorating so my work space has been emptied out for the first time in 10 years. I found all sorts of junk. Accordingly, I'd like to apologize to a former co-worker who I was sure stole my ruler in 2006

Elmer Fudd would have made a great Bond villain.

trashed

As I was backing out of my driveway I was so aware of my neighbor backing out of his driveway that I hit my own trashcan. Yep, my "cool" factor is pretty high on my street.

My entire Sunday was planned out but one thing changed and it all got reshuffled. I hate it when my calendar turns into an UNO deck.

Ever have one of those days where you decide to make meatloaf for dinner just so you can beat the hell out of 2 pounds of hamburger?

IADTIF (Its About Damn Time Its Friday)

I dreamed the grim reaper came for me but I kept escaping by distracting him with Twinkies. Seems Hostess IS good for my health.

AC started smoking, building evacuated, 6 alarm/9 vehicle response: occurred prior to caffeine kick in so can neither confirm nor deny anything happened.

I know was supposed to change the smoke alarm battery but I dig the idea of making a waffle w/out hearing BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Heavy fog. Low Visibility. Slow Moving. But enough about me, how's the weather today?

Safety Tip: On the Monday after Halloween remember to duck and cover when you see the flash of the retail Christmas bomb go off.