Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Monday, April 23, 2018

Ode to Whopper

 I got you 2 for 1 on Sunday, hot, ready w/ a good greasy scent.
But I was full from eating your twin, so into the fridge you went.
I ate you cold for lunch today,but no longer were you great.
For instead of hot and juicy,you were a solid steel metal plate.




colonel

Never one to shy away from attention the POTUS just signed on w/ KFC to be their next Colonal Sanders to promote their new orange chicken.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

pungent

Had friends over last night and I put out a prepackaged veggie tray containing Broccoli with a smell so pungent it bordered on supernatural. But for the first minute, no one knew the smell was the broccoli and silently looked around for the culprit.

Friday, April 20, 2018

fri

Dear Friday, While I am glad to see you I'm still pissed off that it took you so long to get here. Next time try leaving the house a little earlier. Thx, DB

Sunday, April 15, 2018

data

I got an email from a Russian Marketing company that returned all my data w/ a note saying it was too weird to use and I should seek counseling. Спасибо (thank you) for caring, comrade.