Some mondays start like a jet taking flight but this one feels more like a car driving off a cliff.

Held open a door for a Mom carrying her toddler. The Mom thanked me & walked by just as the kid sneezes into my face. #GermCloud

In space no one can hear you scream, but what's the ruling on flatulence?

warm blanket

Nothing feels better than sleeping under a blanket the first cold night of fall.(Full disclosure: some things actually DO feel better but for legal reasons I can't mention them here)

check up

Saw my neurologist this morning who tightened my bolts, checked my battery, & hit my tires w/ a tuning fork. He declared I'm still somewhat road worthy and sent me back out on the streets.

dark web

The dark web is:
1) Why I scream "get it off me!" when I go into the attic
2) the other side of the matrix
3) described in detail in every Rights&Responsibilities you scroll past and click OK on w/out reading.

I have no skeletons in my closet but I do have Jimmy Hoffa's wristwatch in my desk drawer.