I'd like to see Nutter Butter flavored Oreos.

Do you have one or more glass flower vases stored under your kitchen sink? My theory is that they are placed in 3 out of 5 kitchens when the sink is installed

Maybe I don't WANT to relax. What you got to say NOW Frankie??

pretty woman

At the market I spotted a stunningly beautiful college aged woman. The kind of girl so striking every head turned when she walked by. I thought about how many doors will open for this girl to an unlimited future. Then I overheard her talking and could tell she was dumber than a box of rocks. And I thought, doors will STILL open for this girl for a bright future... as a trophy wife.

You know how uncomfortable it is when you've gained a few pounds and your pants are too tight? I just realized why the incredible hulk is always so pissed off.

health dream

Last night I dreamed I was suddenly in the hospital and scheduled for major surgery that everyone was aware of but me. When I woke up my first thought was being grateful for not having to deal with insurance.

I'm about to make a left turn into busy traffic I think of James Dean's last words (That's guys got to stop. He'll see us.) I wait and piss off the guy behind me