Either I just saw a jogger in black sweats & hat w/ white gloves or a mime running for his life.

use the force

Had to employ Jedi babysitting skills last night. The ONLY thing that would quiet this little guy's crying was the constant waiving of a blue light saber toy. #TheForceIsStrongInHim

tubs

Thank you Lowe's plastic tubs.. for being suctioned together so tightly that when I finally pulled one up I fell backwards knocking over the 2 stacks behind me, which knocked over the 2 stacks & lids behind them. I pretty much took out the floor display. #SeemsImNoLongerWelcomeThere

Like a ninja blowdart full of MSG, Chinese food for lunch has warmed my belly but tranquilized my brain.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots? #OldChristmasJokes

Happy WinterSolstice:shortest day of the year.I'm told I look much better in the dark so I guess that makes me a night person

Now if I'm having a shitty holiday and need a little Christmas (along w a little TP) all I have to is reach out and pull.