back in the saddle

Its been almost 8 years since I was on stage but I just got cast as Uncle Billy in Next Generation's production of Its a Wonderful Life this December. We'll see if there is any talent left in the bottom of my rusted old tank. May God have mercy on our souls.

Am I the only one who can switch dreams at night by rolling over? Its the dream equivalent of a CD changer.

Everyday my coworker tells me stories about her cats.I now demand each night she tells her cats stories about me. #EqualTime

FB dessert videos

Why would I waste 15 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, 10 other ingredients, & 13 labor intensive prep steps to make a dessert that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the first place?

When I'm in a bad mood it aggravates me when someone tells me to have a Blessed day. Peddle your exorcism somewhere else padre.

2 accident road closurers forced me to reroute to the left this morning.One more would left have routed me back home.So close

why I don't play lotto

If I won the lottery and quit my job I'd eventually go nuts from boredom. If at work I'm Fozzie Bear, on weekends I become Mr. Snuffleupagus, in retirement I'd morph into Jabba the Hutt.