blinded

Do I stare directly into the sun behind the stoplight for 60 seconds so I don't miss it turning green to ensure the car behind me doesn't honk? Yes. I burn my cornea & see a yellow spot half way to work just to have the same car cut me off a block later. This means war.

the heat is gone

My toaster oven died (or my little oven is toast.) This leaves me only 7 other viable food heating options (stove,microwave, foreman grill, gas grill, fire pit, clothes dryer, & car engine) but, my man rule book lists this as an appliance and therefore I am obligated to shop, compare, and replace as soon as possible. The hunt is on.

don't get cocky

This morning my toast didn't burn, my cheese omelette was perfect, & the sausage was just right. I internally gloated about this accomplishment as I slid the eggs onto my plate from the pan.. which was apparently too close to the bread wrapper which instantly melted all over the bottom of my skillet. #ServesMeRightForBeingOptimistic #BlackCloudMeltDown #CrockeryFail

ooh that smell

Is it counterproductive if the guy who cleans your office leaves a noxious BO/DeadRottingHobo odor in the wake of the every room he just cleaned? Seems like using a flame thrower to dry out water damaged furniture.

Less than 3 hours sleep last night so my official answer to any question you are about to ask me today is PASS.

first day of fall (finally) and it's sweltering

Dear Gambini Crime Family: For 77 days I have been counting down to the relief that Fall would bring from the punishment of summer. Today Fall is finally here... and St. Louis will have a 100 degree heat index. I blame the Heat Miser. Accordingly, I am calling in my favor. To quote Capone - "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to da GROUND!" Tonight the Heat Miser sleeps with the fishes. Thanks, Your Pal, Dave B

Time is the fire in which we burn. - Delmore Schwartz / Time to make the donuts - Fred the Dunnkin Donuts Baker